This is my mom. A.K.A: my world.
For a year, my mom was battling breast cancer. Stage 4. Which is bad. Real bad. She handled it like a papercut, though. The chemo knocked her off her feet only about 5 days each month. She was never really sick, or achy. She was a trooper. After 6 months of chemo, she had to get her boob lopped off and then radiation for a few months. After radiation, her hair started coming in, and she was planning to get dreads once it was long enough. “After what I’ve been through, I don’t care. I think I deserve to do whatever the heck I want”, she’d said.
Two months after her radiation was the best she’d felt in a long time. She cleaned the house, she would go out and shop. She felt amazing. But, then, she had to start taking some medicine to crack out her hormones to make sure the cancer didn’t come back. A rare side effect to this medicine was liver failure. Guess what?
It wasn’t rare with my mom. Of all the people, it had to get her. She now has grapefruit sized cysts on her liver. Her gall bladder also isn’t functioning right. She has a drain in it to reduce the inflammation and to get rid of all the bile filling up in it. Last night, I went to see her in the hospital, and as soon as I walked in, I wasn’t looking at my mom. It looked like I was looking at someone’s sick, dying grandmother. She barely could respond to anything I said, and she was hardly holding my hand. She was fighting to hang on to a few of my fingers. She’s in so much pain and misery. She’s been in the hospital for a few weeks now. It’s just me and my 17 year old sister at home. And I’m only 15. 16 in June.
Today, my pastor came to my house and explained that the cancer had come back. It had metastasized… this time, to her bones. My mother. My whole world. My everything now has stage 4 bone cancer. She started chemo back up today. Just when her hair was long enough to dread. Just when I though the storm had passed, I realized we’d only been in the eye of the hurricane and the worst was yet to come.
My pastor told me today that the only reason they were really doing chemo was to buy my mother more time.
As a 15 year old, this is hard to take. My dad died when I was 5, so mom has always been the dad. Mrs. Dad, as some would say. Or Mr. Mom. She’s the best multi-tasker EVER and has always been there for me. She bought me my first drum and bellset when I was in 6th grade. I’m a sophomore in high school now, and I play the drumset and I can confidently play the piano. All because of my mom. I’m a strong Christian now. Because my mom started taking me to my current church when I was six. I’m an aspiring artist now and plan to become a photographer once I’m out of school. Because my mom bought me my first camera. And she would always buy me new sketchpads whenever I asked. I know how to raise my children right whenever they come along now, because she has taught me and SHOWN me how to treat your children. She’s the one that made me laugh from all her tales of her adventures when she was younger. She’s the one that got me into the Beatles and E.L.O. and the Ramones. She’s the reason I know how to make coffee and wash the dishes. She’s the one that always tucked me in at night and would suck the bad dreams out of my head.
But now, this nightmare won’t go away. I don’t know what’s going to happen to my mom. And I can tell she’s scared to death. She’s not ready to go, and I’m not ready for her to go, either. I’d always had these silly plans for her (since my dad isn’t here) to walk me down the aisle.. for her to be my first dance after I’m married. But now.. I’m not too sure if I’ll even have that. I know God has given me one heck of a testimony, but I’m not ready. I’m just not ready to lose her yet. And she’s not ready to go. I believe God still has some work for her to do. But I can’t be too sure. I just need to keep my faith. But most of all, I need YOU to pray for her. Please. Reblog this, tell everyone you know. Request a prayer for her at church. I fully 100% believe in miracles. I keep hearing: “It’s not looking good, Chelsea.” But I don’t want to believe it. I’d rather believe Matthew 19:26. Please reblog. It would mean the world to me. Your prayer could save my mom. ♥
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andyetyouloveme reblogged this from thatchristiancracker
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